Strength of My Weary Heart

The past two years have been anything but magical. In fact, I’ve recorded them as probably the most difficult in my life’s journey. I would survive the day and just sit to prolong going to bed because it meant the sun would rise and the challenges would all begin again. Many nights I stayed up way too late because I didn’t want to close my eyes and awaken to start a new day filled with tasks, decisions, and other unknown surprises. I knew what this day had held, and I had withstood the trials. But eventually I would traipse to my room and surrender to sleep.

One morning after a particularly long week, the alarm blared way too early as I pulled myself from the bed and trudged to the bathroom. The weariness hung on me like a wet blanket. I stood in the shower letting the water cascade. As the weight of responsibility hovered above me, I leaned my head against the glass and stared at the tile floor. I watched the droplets of water drip, drip, drip to the floor. 

As I continued to observe them, I compared each drop to a day in my life. There goes one. Down the drain with another one. They’re all passing so quickly. Am I using my days the way I want? Does what I’m enduring even matter? How can I continue at this pace?

I didn’t even have the strength to move when I heard a voice say,

“Child, lift up your head. I am right here. Your flesh and your heart may fail, but I am the strength of your heart and your portion forever.”

I don’t know where Psalm 76:23 came from, but my immediate thought was how amazing of my God to meet me in one of my darkest moments and remind me that he is all I need to navigate each situation. Verses continued to scroll across my conscience. “He surrounds me with songs of deliverance (Psalm 32:7).” “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. (Psalm 40:2).”  “He is my rock, my fortress, and my shield (Psalm 18:2).” 

All of those reminders were empowering, but the one that echoed the loudest was “my portion forever (Psalm 73:26).” So many messages in those three words. God is my everything. I lack nothing when I trust in him. He encapsulates my hope and my future. Whatever my plate holds today, he can handle it. 

Sometimes we are merely surviving and get lost in the swirling chaos of life. I link arms with you in your exhaustion and when you feel the next step will cause you to topple. My three prevalent words I’ve used in the past years have been: weary, overwhelmed, and drained. I’m sure you have some of your own words. Choose one. I am _____________________. 

When you repeat any of your words, God answers with a resounding, “I’m here. I am your strength and your portion forever. Together, we’ve got this.” My shower conversation with God changed everything. My perspective shifted and my endurance extended. It’s only in clinging to God in the turbulence do we rise to meet a new day with confidence and fortitude. 


About Shelley Pulliam  

Howdy! (A girl from Oklahoma has to use this as her greeting) I’m Shelley Pulliam, executive director of Arise Ministries and former teacher of hormone-filled 8th graders. But my real claim to fame rests in my award as second grade spelling bee champ and my recent gun-handling skills as I train to competition shoot. It helps me be on guard when Satan comes knocking. I’m a voracious reader and can frequently be found at the theater enjoying movie marathons where my record stands at six in one day. I’m a single, never married, who loves to pour into children at every opportunity. Let me know if you have any for sale. You can connect with me on social media.