Reflections From An Old Anniversary

An upcoming wedding anniversary is another one of those pesky things in the life of a single mom that makes its way around whether we want it to or not. A date that just sort of causes a stir in your spirit. 

That’s what was happening with me as my anniversary date neared. We were supposed to be celebrating 20 years. Instead, that date had turned into a five-year, post-divorce marker in the timeline of my life. A very unexpected and traumatic divorce at that. Although by the grace of God, I am in a different place than I was five years ago, there was still an underlying solemnness in the day. As I reflected, this is what came to mind.

Life can be hard…and sad…and tough…and frustrating…and a thousand other things…with a little sunshine thrown in along the way for good measure. And unlike the message of culture, the goal is not “happiness.” Instead, the “money shot” is contentment. To be content in all things. A contentment that can only be found when you’re rightfully seated under a sovereign God, despite the circumstances. 

The pain we go through in life forever marks us. When used right, that pain can serve us well. Because of it, we truly understand how hard life can be for people, and it hopefully makes us a little more compassionate towards others. 

Pain changes our perspective. We see others and the world differently. Use it for good. 

Let pain drive you to the feet of Jesus. With your tear-stained face, brush all your shattered pieces to him saying, “Here you go. It’s all yours. Do with it as you will. Use me to tell your story. Use these pieces. Make life better than it was before in a way that only YOU can.” 

This has been my prayer and my testimony over the last five years as a single mom. I don’t yet have the revelation of what that mosaic will look like when he puts all the pieces back together, but I continue to trust that it’s beyond my comprehension and that he’s creating it day by day and piece by piece. And boy, am I excited about that! Because I know whom I serve…and he is good. 

I don’t ever want to look at life outside the lens of the pain because I am so much better for it. I don’t ever want to forget what drove me to feet of Jesus day after day after day after day. This is the only place where any and all of it makes any sense. 

I am truly at peace and content with life. I get overwhelmed when I reflect on the goodness of God in my life and the lives of my boys when I look back and trace his hand of sheer faithfulness—even in the most difficult of times. 

Friend, it can be the same for you. Choose to lay your pain and hurt at the feet of Jesus and ask him to make something beautiful out of your shattered pieces. Only he can. And he will because that’s who he is. He has not promised that we won’t have any pain. We will. But he will make something beautiful from yours if you let him.

About Robyn Brian

Robyn Brian is a single mom of nearly 6 years to two incredible young men ages 11 and 14. She works full-time, and when not found chauffeuring these giants to school, football, golf, or Boy Scouts, you’ll likely find them hiking or camping in the great outdoors. They reside in beautiful Middle Tennessee along with their two sweet dogs. She is trusting God to use her story to help others find His purpose in their pain.