Raising two boys has caused me to despise the word “good.” It seems as though any question I ask is often answered with that word. How was school? Good. How was church? Good. How was your sleepover? Good. It drives me bonkers!
My oldest is the king of good. And if his day really wasn’t good, he’ll sort of shrug and lower his voice as he still answers, “Good.” My youngest also will often answer with good—unless I ask about sports or if there was any drama at school. Then he will gladly give me all the details of a certain sporting event or break down the school fight blow by blow. But if it isn’t sports or a random school fight, I’m left with that dreaded word.
My boys have caused a perfectly fine word to literally go from good to bad, so I changed the way I asked questions. I no longer ask questions that can be answered with the word good. I realized it’s my job as a mom to be a treasure hunter and never settle for good. These questions and the conversations I’ve had with my boys following them have honestly changed our relationships. I feel like I know them better, and I sure hope they feel known as well. I also realize I’m teaching them how to communicate well with others.
Here are the types of questions I ask on my mission to find gold nuggets of truth and details:
What was your favorite class today?
Who sat in front of you in math?
What did you eat at lunch?
Who made you laugh today?
Who made you frustrated today?
If you could create the school lunch menu, what would be on it?
If I accidentally ask the boring question “How was your day?” I make sure to then follow up with, “Can you tell me three things that were good about it?”
Moms, this is your chance to get creative. Give your kids a moment after they get home to take a deep breath, and then start your hunting!
This week as I was in the car with my middle schooler he asked me how my day was going. On purpose I said, “Good.” He smirked and responded with, “Can you tell me three things that were good about it?” I smirked back as I thought to myself, I did it. I raised a treasure hunter!
Here’s to treasure hunting. Here’s to finding little gold nuggets of details about your children. Here’s to raising treasure hunters who dig into relationships with good questions and open ears.