Towards the end of 2023 I was reflecting, like most people, on what the year I was slowly waving goodbye to had brought me. I’m generally an introspective person, so I often spend time considering and processing my thoughts and feelings. Since looking inward comes naturally, reflecting on the past 12 months wasn’t difficult. What was a challenge, however, was 2023.
Although it’s a beautiful sentiment that I see the value in, I don’t pick a “word of the year” at the start of January. Because of that, I didn’t go into 2023 with the notion or forethought that it was going to be taxing. I am also quite positive I wouldn’t have chosen the word and fully leaned into its implications if I had known at the start of a shiny, new calendar year how much effort it was going to take.
In reflection, 2023 was the year of “sowing.”
Please know that sowing doesn’t equal bad. The year brought much joy, laughter, and time with family and friends. I achieved a 12-year dream of receiving my yoga teacher certification, traveled for work and pleasure, and made great memories. The sowing, however, was still intertwined throughout.
It was a year of putting my head down and keeping a steady pace of doing the hard work. I chose it. I chose to sow. I chose to do the hard things. My work always carries a certain level of difficulty simply due to the role and environment. When 2023 continued to be the hardest year at work, by far, I sowed through it. I chose to pursue personal healing and growth through lots of counseling sessions. Although it wasn’t easy, I made the choice and sowed through it. My relationship with God felt unstable—on my end, of course. He was gracious enough to allow my questions, anger, curiosities, and doubts and still offer me the space to sow through it. I did, and in some ways, I still am.
I’m learning that life as an adult is a continuous dance of joy and sorrow. A delicate balance of lead and follow. The ever-present invitation to surrender or maintain control. To sow and reap. I chose to lean into the invitation. To do the work. To cry the tears. To be angry and frustrated. To feel hurt. To pursue healing and fight for growth. I’m proud. I’m better because of it. I’m happy.
Scripture speaks frequently of seasons, including the idea of sowing and reaping. Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 is my favorite passage surrounding this. Do you know what season God has invited you into? If so, embrace it and lean in. If not, ask him! He is faithful to show you.
What now? While I originally went into 2024 ready to reap my bountiful harvest, I’m learning that after sowing comes a season for rest. So I’m looking forward and lifting my eyes a little more than before. I’m walking with my hands open, ready to receive the gifts that a season of rest can bring. I’m looking forward to when I see those tiny blossoms begin to sprout, knowing that with God, we create a sweet harvest together. And then I’ll reap!
