Reflections

Well, single mom, it’s that time of year…CHRISTMAS. Everywhere you look you see festive lights twinkling in the night, Salvation Army volunteers ringing their bells, and TV commercials vying for your credit card number. It’s all supposed to be “merry and bright,” but if the truth be known, some of my most hurtful former days revolve around the holiday hoopla. If you’re like me, there are some Christmas memories you’d like to forget. Do you have any of those?

I remember my second Christmas as a single mom. Jason and Sara were five and three. My heart was bleeding because I didn’t want a divorce. My father was in a care facility, and my mother was with the children and me. She was trying her best to keep it all “cheerful” for us, and while the video was recording me beside the tree with the kids, Jason inquired, “Mommy, why isn’t daddy with us? Do you think he’ll buy you a Christmas present?” BOOM! Yep, I have it on tape to this day.

What do we do with painful memories? I’ve lived long enough to gain God’s perspective on those moments. Although it’s true many of us need trained counselors and godly friends along the way to help us navigate through devastating times, it’s also true that the longer we walk with Christ and seek to KNOW him and CLING to him, the easier it is to reflect on hurtful experiences and see God’s healing hand through it all. As I recount my divorce journey and all the consequences that came from it, I see God’s goodness in how he somehow worked it all together for a higher profit. 

I found this verse a week ago. Oh, how I love it—the perfect catalyst for this blog: 

“I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands” (Psalm 143:5).

Single mom, please listen to me. If this is a difficult season for you, know this: It will not always be this way. For those seeking JESUS CHRIST, his work is progressive. Your current sorrows will one day—as you reflect—serve as a barometer of just how faithful God was in revealing to you who he is:

the Healer

the Comforter

the Provider

the Companion

the Joy-giver

the Sustainer

the ONE who grants peace

the ONE who gives an honorable self-worth

the ONE who bestows forgiveness to both others and you

the ONE who unfolds a new life plan

the One who finds you irresistibly beautiful 

the ONE who promises to never forsake you

the ONE who draws near to your prayers concerning your kids

and even the ONE who takes the sting out of hurtful video moments beside the tree

Christmas. It’s not about the festive lights, Salvation Army volunteers, or buying gifts. It’s about the Savior of the world—IMMANUEL, God with us—who waits for an invitation to gloriously sit on the throne of your heart this Christmas.

Shelley Pulliam

Howdy! (A girl from Oklahoma has to use this as her greeting) I’m Shelley Pulliam, Executive Director of Arise Single MOms and former teacher of hormone-filled 8th graders. But my real claim to fame rests in my award as second grade spelling bee champ and my recent gun-handling skills as I train to competition shoot. It helps me be on guard when Satan comes knocking. I’m a voracious reader and can frequently be found at the theater enjoying movie marathons where my record stands at six in one day. I’m a single, never married, who loves to pour into children at every opportunity. Let me know if you have any for sale.

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Don’t Leave Christmas

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Holiday Traditions