In March 2015, Harvard released a study saying that every child who winds up doing well has had at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive adult. I’m unsure how that statement hits you today, but I suggest that you allow it to surround you with peace.
The reality is, this is good news for single moms. Why? Pay close attention. It said ONE. ONE stable adult. ONE committed adult. ONE supportive adult. This is good news because we can control ONE. If the results said two or more, we might be in some trouble. But we have complete control of them experiencing this with us as their mommas. We can take steps daily to make sure that being a safe adult is our goal.
What would it look like for you to use this statement as a guide for the way you parent? Would it change the way you show up for yourself as a mom if being stable was a top priority? Would it change the way you show up for your child if being committed to your relationship with them was the goal? Would it change the way you make decisions if being supportive was always the first step? What would it look like for you, single mom, to be the one safe adult your child has?
We can’t miss this. There’s too much on the line if we do. Imagine if we pushed all the uncontrollable moments aside and made room for this controllable and obtainable goal. The fact is, we don’t have to imagine. We can do this. We can be adamant about creating a safe environment for our children. Let’s wildly chase moments that prove to these future men and women that we are safe. We are stable. We are committed. We are supportive.
One phrase I speak a lot to myself and others is “I am raising men.” I am the mom of two boys who are quickly growing into young men. That short phrase is my everything. It reminds me that the days might be long, but the years are short. It is my target and I keep my eyes on it. Moms, we are raising men and women who are desperate for one safe adult.
I don’t know what it will take for you to make this statement a reality for you and your children, but you do. Whatever it is, do it. Start today. Remember that here at Arise we want to be that safe space for you. We want to come alongside you, reminding you of who you are and who you can be. Someday when your children “wind up doing well” we will give you a big high-five and celebrate the journey with you.
