“Which choice do you think you’ll make?” I asked a friend while sitting down for coffee. My heart broke as I watched her doubt herself over and over. It had been a few years since her husband had died, and she still was dealing with the burden that many single moms are forced to deal with: making decisions all on her own.
Many decisions can be extremely overwhelming: How do I sell my house? What financial plans do I need to make? Which doctor do I choose for my kids? What do I do when my child struggles in school? But then add those big decisions to the millions of little ones single moms are faced with daily and often we find ourselves freezing up.
As we face the new year, let’s look at three tips for making wise decisions.
1. Remember that God gives you the strength to make wise decisions. Hebrews 13 tells us that no matter what your life circumstance is, the “God of peace… will equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ (vs. 20-21). Many moms come from a place where they have either been told by others or they tell themselves that they are incapable of making good decisions. You are capable! God is with you in the midst of decision making. Pray and ask him for wisdom, but also for confidence that you can do this.
2. Seek counsel from wise people. God gives us the gift of wise counsel from other people who love him, but this step does require you to be vulnerable. It’s okay to ask for help, and most of the time people are eager to help you. Have a question about your child struggling with school? Reach out to the school counselor or the student pastor at your church. Have a question about finances? Reach out to your local church and ask if they have financial coaches. You can also take time to observe those around you who seem to “have it all together.” But the reality is they most likely have had help from others too. You don’t have to share every detail, but open up about your needs and gain their guidance or simply ask for recommendations of who you could talk to.
I would, however, encourage you to beware of anyone who tries to tell you what to do. Wise counselors give facts and offer pros and cons. They might even offer warnings and suggestions from personal experiences. But they should not be demanding that you do things their way. This leads us to the final tip.
3. Make the wisest choice with the information you have. Single mom, in the end the decision is yours. After gathering information, consider making a list of pros and cons and looking at it all on paper. If worry starts to plague you, ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen if youtry this, and know that you can survive it. Decisions take work. They take time to research and they take humility as we ask others for help. But in the end, it’s all worth it as you care for yourself and the ones you love.
We will not be perfect…we will mess up…but it’s better to take steps than to either let the enemy paralyze us with indecision or make a unresearched decision simply because we want to get it over with.
