I feel like the hollow echo when entering a courtroom is unlike any other experience. Just getting there is crazy enough: you dress up, your heart is pounding, you frantically try to find the courthouse and find parking. Then your ears ring with the loud creak of the door as you open it and your heart races as you search the room to figure out what you are supposed to do. The reality is you are on trial, and a judge or jury is about to decide your fate. It is an intimidating and lonely place to be, and unfortunately many single moms have had to have this experience.
I have always struggled with court due to an experience I had when I was younger, and so having to go last year was extremely difficult. I found myself tossing and turning at night for weeks after the experience, begging God to take away its burden. The weight of my divorce is still there, but slowly I felt my heart soften as I began to ask better questions. Instead of “Why me?” I began asking “What can I learn?” And God reminded me once again that he can take an experience we never should have to go through and make us more like him.
Lesson #1: You are not a failure. Divorce does not define who you are, and neither does the outcome of your court appearance. Too often we carry the burden of shame on our shoulders and punish ourselves for life not going the way it “should.” Even men and women who suffered abuse or abandonment often carry this burden. But God does not look at you and see failure. Because of Christ’s work on the cross, he looks at you and sees his child who is worth so much more than any life circumstance. The truths of Scripture of how he sees you do not change because of any verdict.
Lesson #2: You have an advocate. “But Kelly, you don’t realize what I did. I deserved the verdict I got.” I know many of you might be feeling this way as you read this, and I want you to know that although there are consequences, this still does not define you. The Bible tells us in 1 John 2:1, “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” John had previously told believers to walk in the light and not to sin, but what about when we do? We have an advocate. In the courtroom of final judgment we all deserve God’s wrath, but Christ stands in our place and pleads our case for us to the Father. Jesus shed his blood so that through him we can be found “not guilty.” Cling to that truth today, turn from your sin, and trust him.
Lesson #3: You have hope. Maybe you’re in a situation where you did not see God’s justice occur in your courtroom. Any normal courtroom experience would involve grief, but this could yield a weight that could spring into bitterness and a quest for revenge. Remember, we can trust that his justice will be executed—even if we don’t get to see it. Romans 12 reminds us to “…leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (vs. 19, 21). This world is not as it should be, and because of sin you will face difficult trials. But we have hope knowing that one day Christ will come back and make all things new and right again.
Lesson #4: You are not alone. I don’t think I had ever felt more alone than I did in the courtroom that day. But regardless of how I felt, the fact is God was with me. Isolation is a common tool used by our enemy to make us want to hide and feel shame. Don’t believe the lie that you’re the only one who has walked where you have walked. Many men and women have walked your path, and we’re here to provide encouragement and support as you face this journey.
