August is a month of great excitement in my house as everyone prepares to go back to school. I love summer, but after a few months of it, getting back into a routine sounds pretty awesome.
But then… the madness starts.
As single moms you know what I’m talking about. The emails. The school supplies. The deadlines to sign up for activities. The sports physicals. Nine million apps you need to download and keep track of so you don’t miss anything. Oh, and to top it all off? The kids have outgrown their clothing, and two out of three are incredibly picky about what they wear. Not to mention the fact that you’re still working a full-time job and trying to keep them fed.
This joyous time of year where you get to watch your kids grow can suddenly become so overwhelming that the walls start to close in and you’re tempted to crawl into a corner and cry.
Breathe, mama, just breathe.
But how? How, in the midst of so many things, do I find the time to breathe? I would love to share a few ideas friends and counselors have shared with me.
1. Literally stop what you’re doing and breathe. When anxiety hits, stop for just a moment and concentrate on your breathing. Take a deep breath, hold it for a couple seconds, and then slowly let it out. You can even have your kids do it with you. My youngest learned so many techniques to breathe at school. This is important for your kids to learn too! Life is crazy. It’s okay to stop and breathe.
2. As you breathe, remember who you are. Life is going to happen, things will slip, and you will never be perfect. As you breathe, remember what’s real and who you are. Who you are is not defined by what you do. Who you are is who Christ says you are. Single mom, he knows you aren’t perfect and he died for you anyway. You are his masterpiece. Follow him one moment at a time.
3. Set out reminders to breathe. Put scriptures on your mirror and on the background of your phone. Is your office a place where you get overwhelmed? Place scriptures there too. When the emails start pouring in, have a note that reminds you to take a breath before opening. Write a scripture at the top of your to-do list. Is part of your anxiety having to deal with a high conflict person as you make decisions? Change their name in your phone to “Breathe.”
4. Breathe out prayers to God. Did you know that scripture points out nine times when Jesus retreated away from all his busyness to be alone and pray? He retreated to the desert to pray before his ministry began (Mark 1:12), he retreated before and after exhausting days of healing the sick (Mark 1:35 and Luke 6:12-13), and he even made time to be alone when he had crowds begging for his attention (Luke 5:15-16). I know it isn’t possible to get much time alone, but do what you can do make it a priority to have time alone with God. I started waking up at least 20 minutes before my kids in order to have this. As I’ve shared before, I have friends with littles who have taught them that when mom is in a certain chair or has a certain hat on,that’s her time to talk with God and shouldn’t be disturbed. Maybe it’s taking five minutes when you first get to the office to read a scripture and pray. Look for creative ways because God is worth it, and so are you, single mom.
5. Don’t do it all alone. Still overwhelmed? Shutting down often? Talk with your community at church and ask for prayer. If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed often and it feels like it’s crippling you, talk to your counselor or a doctor to see what help they can provide.
These days are short but feel so long. What are some ways you’ve found that have helped you to breathe?
