Good Grief

This one truth cannot be minimized. Grief changes everyone.What once was, is now different — and we will never be the same.

It is agonizing – entirely personal.  Whether from death or betrayal, loss of dreams and hopes — There is no “normal” path to healing.

Any who have opened their hearts to joy, have opened a pathway where grief might choose to trample. Unwelcomed, unwanted, unexpected…We recant details of our loss to grief – over and over.

Grief recognizes sorrow in loss, allows ample time for expressing, then interjects hope into our story. Grief pulls us into darkness, covers our hearts, and blinds us as to good coming out of deepest pain.

Maybe you have heard, “Give it time – time heals.” But time cannot heal… time only magnifies. Time brings questions…or deeper sorrow…we are left wondering how much longer until the pain does not cut so deep? Waiting for time is an arduous vigil.

Thankfully, you and I do not serve “time” – we serve Hope.

And Hope?  Hope understands the pain that feels like a stab to your heart, a spear to your side. Hope? Hope knows the anguish of feeling alone, desperate and misunderstood — hanging on display.   Most importantly, Hope shows, even in darkest times – Light still shine.  We wish things could be like they used to be before Grief stepped in.

Hope has other plans. God’s goal is not to make us what we used to be.  His goal is to make us what He knows we can be – honest in sorrow…holy in heartache…held by the Sacred.

It’s where our son, Jess, and his wife, Sara, found themselves when their friend, Joel Rodriguez, battled cancer, then a stroke, and walked into the presence of Jesus.

It’s hard watching our children face loss. We pray healing…we ask for comfort…we beg Jesus to show Himself brightly in sorrow in ways that change our children for His glory. We prayed this for Jess and Sara in their loss.  We prayed it months later as they prayed over Joel’s newborn daughter in a fight for her life with bacterial meningitis. Read her story here:

Grief over Joel’s death changed Jess. It revealed the fragility of life. It brought questions – most of which have no answer this side of eternity. God grew him…and used him. None of us will ever be the same after grief. But there comes a moment in grief, where Hope nudges our hearts to discover good revealed in the bad. Hope nudged Jess to find a way to honor Joel.

We began to notice that  Jess’s hair kept getting longer.

“Son,” I mentioned, I’ve never seen your hair that long.”

 “I know, Mom.” He said. “Did you know you can donate your hair to be made into a free wig for a child with cancer?”

A smile crossed my face… my heart. A glimpse of healing in loss — that point where the soul decides Hope must shine through it.

About Debbie Maulsby   

My name is Debbie Maulsby…and I am a grandson-aholic. I unashamedly pursue any chance to be within hugging distance of my four boys. When I absolutely have to let them get on with the business of going to school or taking naps…I race to my computer because, after my family, what I love most is words. I process life through writing. A famous author once said, “The idea is to write so that people read it, and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.” I am forever grateful for the opportunity to share Him, so that He can go straight to someone’s heart. At times you will find me planting my flowerbeds, fishing at the family cabin, reading, or walking…but always the words pull me. Connect with me at, or @DebbieMaulsby on Twitter. I can’t thank God enough for the opportunities He has given me to serve women through various Bible studies, leadership teams, and writing. And chocolate…I can’t thank Him enough for chocolate.