Recently I heard the host of a radio show ask, “What do you think is one of the most popular topics searched for on the Internet?” I thought, “Money issues.” She commented, “Over three million people searched for help on how to get over a breakup or be set free from a toxic relationship or friendship.” Maybe you’re trapped in one now, and no matter how hard you try to break free from this person, you can’t.
I met with a single woman the other day. For four years she’d been involved with a man through sexual activity and could not break away. She commented, “I’m a strong woman. I’m tied to him. It’s something deeper than I can explain, something that feels out of my control.”
True fulfillment in life boils down to one word: relationships. Some people are seeking connections that are supportive while others are working hard to keep them at a comfortable distance. But in God’s economy, relationships are highly valued because He created us with a soul, desiring us to find satisfaction in being knit together in healthy connections with others. Yet the soul has a down side. It can “tie” itself to someone in a destructive way. These bonds are called “soul ties.” They can raise us up to the highest level of our creation or take us down into the abyss filling us with demoralizing entrapment, much like the condition of my ensnared friend.
So how does one know if they’re trapped in an ungodly soul tie? Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
• I’m drained by this person. All I want to do is disconnect with them.
• I can’t forgive. Memories play over and over in my mind.
• I excessively wonder about this person or want to check up on them.
• I’m on pins and needles when they enter the room.
• He or she makes me feel like their problems are my fault.
• I feel responsible for this person’s happiness.
• My well-being is dependent on this person’s behavior.
• I’m numb, and I can’t move on.
So how can one be set free from this tormenting bondage? Something happens when we admit to ourselves we’re in an unhealthy relationship or connection. When we let go, turn to God, ask for forgiveness if needed and replace the lies with the truth, the process of healing begins. In God’s power and through Christ’s blood on the cross, every destructive soul tie can be destroyed.
If God ordained soul ties and intended them for His pleasure and our good, then in His power they can be broken. We don’t have to live under the crippling effect of others or our former choices. We don’t have to live beneath our God-given inheritance. We don’t have to be subject to self-destructive relationships. God has granted us KINGDOM AUTHORITY to break down every demonic stronghold and flourish in relationships filled with God-honoring love and good will.
In closing, I offer this prayer.
Lord God, I come before your throne of grace covered in the blood of Jesus Christ. I confess my sin and ask you to forgive me for my actions or inability to move forward. I renounce the soul tie formed between ________ and me as a result of _____________ (fornication, etc.). I choose to forgive the person and myself. I pray for wholeness of mind, will, and emotions. Lead me into godly associations and bind demonic activity from me. Thank you that I am no longer bound to these soul ties. In Jesus’ name. Amen.