Pam and I have recorded many podcasts together, but there’s one I will always remember. It’s not so much the content of the podcast that will set up camp in my memory but the feelings we both had while recording.
Every time we record it goes a little something like this. We adjust our mics to fit perfectly in front of us, and then we put on our headphones, making sure they’re comfortable. I lean over and press the large record button with a red circle and begin our familiar intro, “You are listening to the Single Momcast. I’m Mel Hiett and this is Pam Kanaly.” It’s smooth. We have it figured out. We do it weekly.
It just so happened that this particular episode stopped both of us in our tracks. You see, usually we introduce ourselves, announce the topic, and move straight into discussing. But this time as Pam announced “Today we are talking about dating!” something happened—something strange for us. We both just froze. We stared at each other and instantly started laughing.
The topic wasn’t funny. We weren’t unprepared. But in a single moment, we both exposed how nervous we were about the topic. The nerves came from the weight of responsibility, as both of us understood how important it is for single moms and their children. The moment of laughter went by, and we gathered ourselves to begin. The conversation was important and impactful. I think you should listen!
I wanted to pull one part out and give you a preview of our conversation. As I prepared for the podcast, I created a filter for single moms to use to discover their “why.” Why do you want to date? Why do you want to bring someone else into your family? These are big questions.
When I have a big question, even ones not about dating, I always run it through this filter to make it seem smaller. I just so happen to use a Bible verse. Whether you read the Bible or not, this will work for you. Promise!
I turn to Philippians 4:8 and it becomes a checkbox for me. I literally filter my questions through it. So let’s take a look at it. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Do you see it? Do you see the filter? I pull the powerful words out of the verse and use them to figure out my why. I think you could use it to answer the question “Why do I want to date?”
Here’s a list of those words:
TRUE
NOBLE
RIGHT
PURE
LOVELY
ADMIRABLE
EXCELLENT
PRAISEWORTHY
Now the filtering begins. It works like this. Ask yourself “What is my why?” Then take that answer and filter it through those words. Is it true? Is it noble? Is it right? Is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it admirable? Is it excellent? Is it praiseworthy?
With that verse in mind, should your why change? Is it enough to carry the weight of it all? Would your children agree? I challenge you to run your why through Philippians 4:8 every time. Then if you really want to have fun, run the person you’re interested in through it as well! Are they true? Noble? Right? Pure? Lovely? Admirable? Excellent? Praiseworthy? Did they make it through the filter? Would your children agree? These are smaller questions that help make finding the answer to the big question easier.
Working through the why’s takes time and honesty, but you and your children are worth it. Mel Hiett
Listen to our conversation here:
The Single Momcast – “If You Dare to Date”
https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-vnq56-1633c5f
