“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” —Ann Landers
Touche’! Momma, you are raising future wives, husbands, and parents. They will be the ones leading families, teaching their children, making decisions, and navigating life. It’s your job to give them roots and wings and then let them fly. None of us want our kids limping along without fully developed wings.
Our desire is to help our children—smooth the path and make it easier. But the time is short when they’re in the home, so now is the time to instill important know-how. I understand. Sometimes it takes too long to explain and it’s faster and easier to do it ourselves. And it can be frustrating to give a child a task and it may not be completed the way you’d accomplish it.
I remember being downright mad while growing up when on Saturday morning we were summoned from our beds for chores. I detested spring cleaning. But you know what? I learned how to do things I never knew I’d need someday. Life skills are paramount to future success. So here are my important 10 life skills to teach your kids:
1. Train them to wash clothes, cook, and clean house—all the household basics. It’s okay if the dishwasher is not loaded perfectly. And while they learn to use the washing machine, those pink, formerly white, socks are still wearable. Let them experiment and learn.
2. Smile, hug, and comfort them so they learn how to show empathy and love as an adult. Do it even if they roll their eyes or are a foot taller than you.
3. Engage in conversations about important topics so they see the value in communication. Discuss viewpoints when you disagree so they understand conflict resolution. Listen, and don’t always have to have the last word.
4. Teach them about money and saving and debt. This might be an area where you struggle, but start small.
5. Hold the line and set boundaries. Kids want to feel safe and know the parameters. It brings insecurity for rules to change.
6. Demonstrate service and care. For example, take a neighbor a meal or shovel their driveway.
7. Exhibit grace when they mess up, and demonstrate how to ask forgiveness and say, “I’m sorry.”
8. Display your faith. Attend church to establish a routine for them when they are adults. As teenagers, if they refuse to go with you, go anyway. Pray openly and let them see you read the Bible. Share when God does something amazing. Planting seeds in their lives is how their belief can grow.
9. Model working hard and doing things the right way even when you don’t want to.
10. Let them struggle so they learn to overcome like the butterfly out of the cocoon or problem solve to figure out solutions. It will prepare them for when troubles come.
My grandfather used to say learn to work hard, persevere, and overcome adversity or else you’ll just be a hot house flower. You’ll flourish when protected and warm and comfortable, but when you go out to navigate the real world, you’ll wither and die. Equip your kids to live life on their own outside the walls of your home.
Another great place to begin is to identify the skills you had to learn the hard way and put them on the training list. If there are areas where you struggle and don’t feel equipped, then find someone to model or teach them to your children.
Yes, it takes effort. Yes, it’s hard work. Someday when you see your kids thriving as adults, you’ll pat yourself on the back and rest in the quiet and solitude that’s now yours. I’m kidding. There will never be quiet and solitude with children. Go make them great human beings.
